You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "Oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. "
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: "I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs." Be creative.
9. Bring pets.
10. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
11. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
12. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, and a towel on your head.
13. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
14. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
15. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
16. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay; be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
17. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.
18. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
19. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).
20. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
21. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her , "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
22. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
23 . Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
24. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "You don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
25. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the "Bridge on the River Kwai."
26. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
27. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
28. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too!) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "
29. When you walk in, complain about the heat.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, and ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
32. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
33. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
34. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
35. Bring a musical instrument with you, and play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say It helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so."