If you are ever in an abusive relationship, these are very important steps to take:

1) Talk to your partner about cool-downs (time-outs) right away. Let him/her know that sometimes when you're together, it may be necessary for you to take a time-out in order to relax. Let him/her know that when you come back, that you will agree on a time either later that day or the next day to discuss the issue again. He/she might want to do the same thing.

2) Take a time-out EVERY time you think your anger is starting to climb by recognizing your physical and emotional cues and leave the situation (place or person).

3) Do not swear, raise your voice, threaten or use any intimidating behavior.

4) Go somewhere and try to relax and think positively about yourself. Remind yourself of what your goals are in the relationship. It may help to walk, jog, or do deep breathing exercises. Do not drive, drink alcohol, or take drugs.

5) When you come back, decide with your partner on a good time for discussion of the issue. Maybe it is a good idea to talk it over with a third party present, someone you both trust. Sometimes after a time-out, you may both decide that the issue wasn't worth the discussion in the first place, and you may mutually decided to just drop it. If you decide to discuss the issue and you recognize the cues occurring again- TAKE A TIME OUT!